Sunday, April 29, 2012

Make More Memories

I wrote this in February, 2010 and stumbled upon it tonight.

It's almost hard to believe I lived the life I see in the photos chronologically archived in my iPhoto.

Trespassing, scuba diving in the pool, riding a shaky elevator up and back down an antenna taller than my imagination, taking pictures and videos of 'my boys' luging down a barely created road, climbing real rock for the first time, shivering next to the Suby while I counted the number of steps, seconds, it should take. Hiking to what seemed like nowhere, and back.
Laying in the living room, on the skating ramp, in the office on the couch.
Talking about girls, about Mark, about love, about honesty.

But never never never a picture, a memory, a word
about death.

I couldn't, won't, can't, stand to lose another person like that.

I'm tasting nothing but four words
Please don't leave me.

I'm scared EVERY TIME. This nonchalance is my greatest facade. 
The odds - they are in my favor [and no, that wasn't a Hunger Games reference]. But I am a worst-case-scenario kind of girl.

Tattoo ideas in the works. Day of the Dead skulls, trees and storybooks. Lilies, everywhere. And butterflies - always butterflies, which are rampant right now. 

It always makes me feel better to say this, so - 
I've still got a lot to learn. 
This life, it is heartbreaking. More importantly it is crazy and wonderful - that's how he would want me to remember our time together.
Goal: Make More Memories. 

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