Make More Memories

I wrote this in February, 2010 and stumbled upon it tonight.

It's almost hard to believe I lived the life I see in the photos chronologically archived in my iPhoto.

Trespassing, scuba diving in the pool, riding a shaky elevator up and back down an antenna taller than my imagination, taking pictures and videos of 'my boys' luging down a barely created road, climbing real rock for the first time, shivering next to the Suby while I counted the number of steps, seconds, it should take. Hiking to what seemed like nowhere, and back.
Laying in the living room, on the skating ramp, in the office on the couch.
Talking about girls, about Mark, about love, about honesty.

But never never never a picture, a memory, a word
about death.

I couldn't, won't, can't, stand to lose another person like that.

I'm tasting nothing but four words
Please don't leave me.

I'm scared EVERY TIME. This nonchalance is my greatest facade. 

The odds - they are in my favor [and no, that wasn't a Hunger Games reference]. But I am a worst-case-scenario kind of girl.


Tattoo ideas in the works. Day of the Dead skulls, trees and storybooks. Lilies, everywhere. And butterflies - always butterflies, which are rampant right now. 


It always makes me feel better to say this, so - 
I've still got a lot to learn. 
This life, it is heartbreaking. More importantly it is crazy and wonderful - that's how he would want me to remember our time together.
Goal: Make More Memories. 

2 things I learned this week that I think you should know too

1. If you habitually spill/splatter butter or oil on your nice, BRAND NEW shirts and can't seem to get those stains to disappear? Dish Soap. I do not lie. It even worked on a nice, BRAND NEW shirt, that I wore to Tosh, and then splattered butter all over while eating delicious mussels afterwards. [ McCormick & Schmicks I love you. And your blueberry mojitos. AND the mussels, duh.]
Oh, and I washed it before trying to treat it, which is a big NO NO apparently. A few dabs of dish soap, about 2 minutes [I'm impatient] and a little water, and *poof*. All appearances that you are a total klutz/slob have disappeared.
Maybe you already know this. If so, yay for you! If not, You're Welcome. :D

2. Note - This has absolutely nothing to do with the above.
If your stomach is really upset, and you decide it would be a good idea to take some pepto-bismol, even when you can't keep any liquid or food down, your tongue can, wait for it,
turn black.
And nothing will freak you out more then waking up with sore abs from puking [TMI? sorry. kind of.]  and going to brush your teeth and realizing your tongue suddenly has a mysterious black coating on it. To be fair, the box warns you of this [among other things], which prevented me from immediately calling my Dr. and, instead, immediately calling my Mom.
She probably told me to take some Vitamin C.
Truth.

So, the lessons of the past week are - be messy, and avoid pepto-bismol because that is just WEIRD.

Heartbroken

Mark and I discovered today why owning pets will rip your heart out. 

We had to make a very tough decision, and tomorrow our beloved Russell will be laid to rest. 

We love him, and we are crushed beyond words. 

Thank you Russ, for being the most amazing cat anyone could ever ask for.

You have won over the hearts of many a cat-hater and enforced to anyone who met you exactly why cats are so awesome. 

We will miss you so, SO much. 

<3

Spoiled

Wearing my Christmas jeans, my Christmas sweater, my Christmas necklace, and my Christmas bracelet.
Using my Christmas immersion blender to make cream of tomato soup, and our Christmas bacon [yah, you read that right] for BLT's.
And let's not forget the Christmas present to myself - the pesto tucked away in the freezer. Little pockets of summer.
We are spoiled, and lucky, and so very thankful.

Love.

"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares." - Henri Nouwen

The Stern Look [and other ramblings]

My Mom has this look, it's a Very Stern Look.
When it's directed at you, it becomes incredibly clear that you should concede to her will.
I was a rather defiant child and found some kind of twisted enjoyment in laughing at The Look. I nearly always regretted this after the fact, but I'm also very stubborn / hard headed / dense.
I tried to give Mark The Stern Look the other night,
and he laughed at me.
Clearly I need to call Mom for advice on how to perfect The Look.




We had AT&T installed about a month ago. I made a call to customer service to chat about their auto pay service which has not yet withdrawn the funds for my bill. This bill being due today. I was told to give it a few days, not to worry about [HAH! These people clearly don't know me yet]. All of that is good in theory, but I have this terrible feeling I'm going to be calling back in a few days to listen to their AWFUL HOLD MUSIC and contest late charges. Totally not the point of this story.
SO, while we have enjoyed our new cable [hi 21st century. I like you.] the internet is a different story. It's slow, and frustrating, and randomly we lose service and IT'S REALLY FREAKING SLOW. I had not yet mentioned this as the internet is, of course, working beautifully today. Dude decides to tell me they have a Super Special! in MY area! for internet that's Twice As Fast! for 2 bucks less!
Can someone kindly explain to me why they didn't offer this twice-as-fast-internet when we signed up for service? Anyone care to elaborate on why it's 2 dollars less than the sloooowwww internet I currently have? And while we're at it, where's that $50 gift card the sales dude promised us?
But I didn't say any of these things. Because I'm kind of a pushover sometimes.
I think I used up all my nerve in my younger years.
Maybe that's why my Stern Look isn't working...

Funny stuff from this week

The other night I asked Mark for a kiss. He came towards me all sweet, and then punched me with the microwave door. [On accident, in case that wasn't obvious.] Now we're pretty certain I've got a broken nose.
[I was hopeful he broke it back to normal from an incident when I was a kid, but no such luck. Now it's just more crooked. And there's a lovely bump!]

We had new cable installed today and I almost googled "what am I supposed to do while the cable guy is here?". I restrained myself, but just barely. *

In the process of cleaning up our embarrassingly messy [clutter-y] house for the cable guy I had to 'hide' the following items:
A bullet proof vest
A [super weird looking] gas mask
A BB gun

We also discovered, for absolutely no reason, exactly how much stuff fits in our under-the-stairwell closet. Because we thought the cable guy might need to get in there. But he didn't. So now I have a living room full of Christmas decorations, wrapping paper, and stuff. A LOT of Stuff. My favorite box from the closet included:
Hand warmers
An old school Casio calculator
Antlers
Webbing
A headlamp
A baggy of screws [to what? we do not know.]
Random drawings [of what? we do not know.]

Also discovered - a foot high stack of pictures I had printed and forgotten about.
Sigh.

However, the new cable is awesome. So that's good.
Happy Weekend!

*In case you are wondering, I ended up lingering and hovering. It's kind of just what I do.